Insanity is Such Sweet Sorrow
by increak96
Summary: Sasuke's lost his mind and hasn't eaten in weeks. Orochimaru doesn't need a half-dead Uchiha to be his container, and Sasuke runs for a place to call his own. Somehow, he ends up in the Konoha psych ward. But that's okay! He's with Planty, his best friend. A talking potted plant. Not crack, no pairings, ItachixSasukexNaruto brotherly love, KisamexItachi friendship, enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A\N: First multi-chapter Naruto fic! So, I know it looks like a crackfic at first, but it's not going to be crack. Friendship, family, humor, and angst. That's what I would put it under. I hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

The first time it happened, Sasuke disregarded it as lack of sleep. The second time it happened, he waved it off as too much stress. The third time it happened, he stopped and stared.

The third time the plant spoke to him, that is.

The fourth time, though, was the worst. It was the mistake. It was the time he actually replied. At first, he had kept the conversations very short and simple. He didn't really want to admit that the plant was talking to him, even if it was a very polite plant. But over time, he started to talk to it more and more. Soon, he couldn't make it through a day without hearing the gentle whispers from the greenery in his room.

And today was no different.

"Sasuke, you're looking very powerful this evening." The petals always whispered. They never yelled or spoke in a deadly tone—just whispers.

Sasuke smiled lightly, a blush coloring his cheeks. "R-really? Thanks!"

"Anytime, Sasuke."

Sasuke glanced around the room, pressing a finger to his lips. "Planty, you have to be quiet. I don't want Orochimaru to hear you. He already thinks I'm crazy."

"Oh, Sasuke, you're not crazy. You're just enlightened."

Sasuke wiped his eyes, laying down on his bed and looking at his desk where the potted plant proudly stood. "Do you really think so?"

The plant swayed its reply. "Yes, of course. Now, Sasuke, you were going to tell me more about your childhood!"

The raven nodded his head. "Right, right! I… I was going to tell you about Father, right?"

"That's right," the greens whispered.

"W-well… well, he was really hard on me… I always… I was always trying to impress him, but all he ever wanted was for me to be like Itachi…" Sasuke shook his head. "No, he wanted me to _be _Itachi! That's what he wanted! And I was never good enough… Never!"

The plant swayed soothingly, shaking his petals in sadness. "No, Sasuke… it's not true…"

"But it is!" Sasuke slammed his hands onto the surface of the desk. "I was never good enough for the teachers, either! The only one I was good enough for was the fangirls! S-stupid… stupid fangirls…"

Sasuke jumped when he heard a click behind him. He turned slowly, blinking at the darkness. "Planty… did you hear that?"

"Sasuke… I think it was the lock… did someone hear us?"

The missing-nin paled, swallowing hard as he took a few hesitant steps towards the door. He inclined his ear towards the hallway, listening to the conversation.

"Orochimaru-sama, he's getting worse."

"I can see that, Kabuto."

_W-worse? What do they mean worse? Am I sick?_

"If this keeps up, his body will lose its potential."

There was a brief pause, and then Sasuke heard the Sannin chuckle darkly. "I know. If he doesn't work out, I can always find another one…"

_What…? What does he mean? _

The raven whirled around and ran to the desk, kneeling down in front of the plant and whispering frantically. "Planty, what do I do? If I get sick, Orochimaru will get rid of me!"

"Calm down, Sasuke," the plant soothed. "I'm sure everything will be fine. Do you know what could have made you sick?"

Sasuke pressed a hand to his forehead, surprised by how much he was sweating. It was so cold in here… why was he sweating? Never mind! He had to think about this sickness!

"Um… could it be the food? It doesn't really sit well with me… or the excessive training?"

The plant nodded and swayed in the non-existent wind. "Perhaps, perhaps… maybe you should stay away from those things for a while?"

Sasuke's head bobbed up and down eagerly. "Yes! Yes, I'll do that! Then Orochimaru won't get rid of me, and I can get more power!"

The plant let out an airy giggle. "And then your brother is really in for it."

Sasuke laughed with it. "Y-yeah! He's gonna get it alright… always being better than me… Mom and Dad's favorite… with his stupid eyes… stupid Mangekyou…"

"Shh, Sasuke… it's alright. Don't think about that now. Just focus on getting rid of this sickness."

"Right, right! I will!"

* * *

Sasuke really did his best to get rid of the sickness he had. He didn't eat for at least a week, and he didn't pester Orochimaru about training. When the Sannin offered, he went along with it, but other than that he let the subject drop. He didn't feel much better, though, and when he discussed it with Planty, they both decided he should do even less the next week. So once again, Sasuke didn't eat, only this time, when Orochimaru offered to train him, Sasuke turned him down. At the end of those two weeks, Kabuto and Orochimaru were still giving him strange looks and whispering to each other, so Sasuke went a third week. That third week was a very big mistake. By the end of it, Sasuke was confined to his bed, unable to move and more deranged than ever. He spoke openly with Planty, not caring who was around to hear or see him. His body was too depleted for the snake man to use, and it was then that Orochimaru decided Sasuke had to be disposed of.

* * *

Sasuke threw his head back and screamed. "Planty! Make them stop! It hurts!"

"Sasuke-kun, if you keep struggling it will hurt more," Kabuto muttered, trying to find a vein in the boy's pale, scrawny arms. "Sasuke-kun, this is for your own good."

Orochimaru sighed from where he had the boy pinned to the bed, shaking his head in disappointment. "He really isn't worth this much effort."

"I know that, but I need a new corpse his age. I used the other one this morning, and you know I hate missing one."

Sasuke thrashed around on the bed, screaming at the top of his lungs. In fact, he was screaming so loud, he almost missed Planty's whisper.

"Sasuke! Use Chidori!"

The raven gasped in revelation and then nodded his head, forming a ball of lightning in each hand. Both ninjas reached for his arms in an attempt to grab them, but he swiftly slammed his palms into their chests.

"Chidori!"

Kabuto and Orochimaru flew backwards, hitting the walls and sliding down. Planty cheered for him—airily, like a whisper, of course—and Sasuke smiled widely at the plant, gathering it up in his arms and hugging it tightly.

"Let's get out of here!" Sasuke jumped up, running out of the room and down the hall as fast as he could. He wasn't entirely sure where he was running, but he knew he wasn't going to stay here.

_Don't worry, Planty… I'll find us someplace safe to stay._

He heard voices in the distance, but he didn't really care about them. The only voice he wanted to hear was Planty's. Still, they were saying some rather odd things.

"Just let him go. He's not useful anymore."

"Why did he Chidori the air?"

"Hallucinations, I suppose."

"Hmm… I wonder who he thought he saw, Orochimaru-sama."

"Who knows, Kabuto?"

Silly voices. Orochimaru and Kabuto were dead.

"Hurry up, Sasuke! I want to see the sun."

Sasuke giggled to himself. "I'm hurrying, Planty! I'm hurrying!"

The two laughed their way down the hall, not really thinking about anything but each other.

* * *

Sasuke ran. He ran and ran and ran, but he had a hard time finding a place he liked. They were all very quaint, sure, but none of them really felt like home. There had to be a place… a special place… that was the only place he would stay, especially with Planty. Planty had helped him so much… Planty deserved the best!

"Sasuke, why don't you tell me more about your life while we walk?"

Sasuke blushed. "You're always so concerned about me… thank you."

"Of course, Sasuke," Planty whispered, leaves running soothingly over Sasuke's cheek. "Now, why don't you tell me… about your mother?"

"Mother…?" The Uchiha looked towards the sky, a blissful smile on his face. "She was beautiful. She was really the only one who was nice to me, you know. She would tend to my wounds, even when they were small and insignificant. Mom always smiled when she spoke to me. She smiled because nobody else would, you see."

"Oh… your mother sounds very nice. I would have loved to meet her."

Sasuke laughed, hugging the pot. "She would have loved you, too! She would have watered you every day and given you special plant food."

"Sasuke," the plant scolded, still whispering. "You know I don't like to be referred to as a plant. I am your friend, nothing more, nothing less."

Sasuke flushed, lowering his eyes in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Planty… she would feed you special Sasuke's Friend food!"

"Would she really?"

"Of course she w—" Sasuke let out a shout as he ran into someone, falling to the ground with a muffled yelp.

"What the…?"

Sasuke shook his head, staring up at the man he had run into with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, sir! I was talking to Planty, and I didn't see you."

The extremely tall and bluish man just blinked at him, and Sasuke got to his feet, dusting himself off. After checking to see if Planty was okay, he looked at the stranger in the black and red cloak, smiling.

"Excuse me, sir, but do you know if there are any very special places around here? I need a place to settle down with my friend." Sasuke proudly held up his plant to the befuddled man.

"Uh… Konoha is a couple miles that way." The man pointed over his shoulder, and Sasuke's eyes widened.

"Really? Thank you, Mr. Fishman!" He hugged the giant around the waist and took off running towards this 'Konoha' place the man had talked about. "Did you hear him, Planty? A very special place called Konoha where you and I can live!"

"I don't know… what if they don't let us stay? Or what if they don't understand your enlightenment?"

The black-haired boy just smiled. "I'm sure they'll understand! Don't worry so much, Planty!"

The plant said nothing for a few moments, and then it sighed, laughing quietly. "Alright, Sasuke. To Konoha!"

* * *

**A\N: Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Also, I have a facebook page where you can get day to day updates about what's going on with my writing. **

**www . facebook increak96  
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**Just take out the spaces! God bless ya!  
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	2. Chapter 2

**A\N: Chapter 2! Thanks for the faves, follows, and reviews! Mentions will be in the next chapter or the one after that. ^^ Enjoy!**

* * *

Sasuke's eyes fluttered open, and he looked around until he saw Planty sitting next to him, swaying in the breeze.

"P-Planty? Where are we?"

"We got to Konoha last night, but you were tired, so we stopped a little ways off," his friend whispered.

"Oh!" Sasuke grabbed Planty, smiling widely. "Let's go, then!"

"Ah! S-Sasuke! Your pants!"

The frantic whispers stopped him in his tracks. He looked down slowly, yelping and covering himself.

"Gak! Planty! What happened to them?"

"Don't you remember, Sasuke?"

The traumatized Uchiha shook his head, his bottom lip quivering. "N-no…"

The plant shushed him quietly. "Sasuke, don't cry. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You just had a little run-in with a wild boar. It's okay."

"I… I want pants…"

"Alright, alright, calm down and listen to me." Planty paused momentarily and then spoke again. "Go find a sheet hanging out to dry."

Sasuke turned in several circles, searching the area for a blanket. He didn't see anything at first, but then his eyes landed on a white… something... fluttering in the trees.

Grinning, he got to his feet and ran as fast as he could towards the foliage, clambering up the tree. It was a little difficult, seeing as his chakra wasn't working for some reason, but he managed to get the large white thing, and it turned out to be a large blanket.

"Perfect!"

Sasuke ran back to Planty, holding his trophy high over his head. "I got it, Planty! Now what?"

"Now cut two holes for your arms and wrap it around you. Then tie it at the waist with your purple cord!"

Sasuke did as he was told, hoping no one saw him, and when he was finished, he picked Planty up and started towards Konoha's gate.

"I don't know, Sasuke… I'm scared to go in there."

"Don't worry, Planty. I'm sure everything will be fine. We've never been here before, so why would they want to hurt us?" Sasuke ran into the village, skipping a little as a happy feeling began to fill him. He didn't know why, but this place was just… perfect. It was the special place he had been thinking of. He was getting some odd looks, though.

"Pst! Sasuke, do you see that big red building?"

Sasuke ran a little further and came to a stop, his eyes stopping on the tower. "Yes."

"Maybe their leader lives there. We should go talk to him. We don't want to be here illegally."

"Good point, Planty!"

Sasuke took off at a dead run, his dress flapping in the wind. He giggled softly, his bare feet pounding into the dirt as he made his way towards the leaderhouse. Yes, that's what he was going to call it. The leaderhouse.

He got to the leaderhouse rather quickly, clambering up the stairs and trying not to trip over his clothes. It was hard to do all this running and climbing without his chakra, but he didn't know when it would be back, so he figured he would have to manage. Besides, he had Planty. What could possibly go wrong when he had Planty?

_I wonder if the leader is nice? I wonder if it's a man or a woman? Or maybe a plant! That would be good for Planty… I wonder if the leader will let me live here? Please, please, please let me live here. I know this is my special place…_

He walked into the building, approaching the door slowly.

"So the robbers were apprehended?"

"Yes. One of them is in the hospital, but the other two were incarcerated this afternoon."

Sasuke felt a shiver go down his spine. These people certainly didn't _sound _nice.

"What did they have on them? Were you able to return the peoples' belongings?"

"We recovered everything, but only some of it has been returned. We're having a hard time finding all of the owners and a large amount of stock was damaged—probably when they were stealing it. They claimed their last victim was a delusional boy they found in the woods. We have a team out searching for him now."

"Delusional…?"

"He was talking to a plant, apparently."

Sasuke gasped loudly, holding Planty up. "Someone like me!" he shouted, completely disregarding the people beyond the door. "Did you hear that, Planty? Someone else who has a friend like you!"

The door beside him flew open, and he jumped away, heart pounding in his chest as he tumbled back onto the floor. Staring up at the blonde woman and the silver-haired nin beside her, he felt his blood freeze in its tracks. "I… I'm sorry! I didn't mean to eavesdrop!" he pleaded, getting on his knees and lowering his head.

Planty grabbed his attention, whispering gently. "Sasuke, don't be upset. Just calm down and tell them—"

"Sasuke!" The ninja exclaimed, his one visible eye widening. "What are you doing here?"

Sasuke gave him a look that meant death, stroking his precious friend with gentle fingers. "Shh… it's speaking to me."

The man blinked, slowly looking at the woman, but Sasuke ignored them. "What did you say, Planty?"

"First of all, I am a he, not an it."

Sasuke bit his lip, hanging his head in shame. "S-sorry…"

Planty sighed, but Sasuke could hear the smile in his voice. "It's alright, Sasuke. I was saying you should just tell them the truth about the situation. We're already this far in, so we'll just have to be honest and see what happens."

Sasuke nodded, swallowing hard as a fear he had never known began to permeate his body. "Uh… Ninja-san and… and Leader-sama… I…" He cleared his throat. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha, and I'm looking for a very special place to stay. I… um, used to be with a man named Orochimaru, but I killed him and his assistant, Kabuto. I killed them both dead! I killed them until they died to death! And, uh… w-well… I'm sorry for stealing this blanket, but someone took my pants… and… and I was really embarrassed." Sasuke fidgeted with his dress, staring down at his lap, tears blurring his vision. "Please… please let me stay here… p-please…"

There was a long silence, and then the ninja man knelt down in front of him, lifting his chin and forcing eye contact. "Sasuke… do you know who I am?"

Sasuke shook his head slightly, biting his lip to keep it from shaking. "No… I'm sorry."

"Sasuke, I…" The man paused, still seeming lost in a state of shock and not knowing what to do. "I'm going to talk to Hokage-sama for a moment… can you wait outside the building?"

Sasuke looked between the two of them, trying to keep his legs from shaking as he got to his feet, taking Planty with him. "I… I… are you going to punish me?"

The man shook his head, smiling. "No, it's going to be fine. Just wait for me."

"Yes, Ninja-san!" he bowed sharply and then turned, running out the door and down the steps, a silly grin on his face. "See, Planty? Everything's fine!"

There was a brief silence, and then Planty swayed. "I guess it is…" Then he laughed. "This could be really fun, Sasuke!"

"I know! And did you see Ninja-san smile at me? At least, I think it was a smile… it's hard to tell with the mask."

Planty swooned in agreement. "I wonder what's under there…"

Sasuke grinned down at him. "I guess we'll have to find out sometime!"

Planty was about to reply, but the two of them were suddenly under a shadow. Sasuke looked up to see strange men wearing masks. The fear from before quickly filled him, but he tried to remain calm, sliding away carefully.

"H-hi… my name's Sasuke…" he said quietly, holding tightly to Planty.

Someone landed behind him, and he whirled around, smiling when he saw Ninja-san standing there with his hands on his hips.

"Ninja-san!" he shouted, getting up and running over to him. "You're here now, so I'm safe! Thank you, Ni—"

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. This is for your own good, alright?"

Sasuke frowned, pulling away. "Wh…what do you mean?"

The young Uchiha let out a shout when something hit the back of his head, and he stumbled forwards into Ninja-san's arms. The sickening crack of pottery breaking reached his ears.

_Planty!_

He opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out. Blackness pushed at the edges of his vision, and he went limp. Everything fell into darkness, and Sasuke Uchiha knew no more.

* * *

**A\N: Please leave a review! Next chapter, enter Naruto and Itachi!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A\N: Mentions will be in the next chapter! I hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

Sasuke hugged his knees closer to his chest, screaming in between the sobs, tears soaking the fabric of his dress.

He wasn't sure how long ago he had woken up, but he had been all alone in a solid white room. Planty was gone, and Sasuke had never been more terrified in his life. He had panicked and started banging on the walls, screaming for someone to let him out, crying the whole time. No one had come for him, and before he knew it, he was curled up on the ground unable to do anything but cry and beg to be released.

"Let me out! Let me out and give me Planty! Please… Let me ooooout…"

Sasuke stopped when he heard a click that sounded similar to a door unlocking. His head snapped up, wide obsidian eyes on a section of the wall that was open just slightly. A young blonde in a bright orange jumpsuit poked his head inside, a worried and slightly sad expression on his face.

"G-go away! Let me out or go away!"

The boy came in and shut the wall behind him, walking over and kneeling down in front of the raven. "It's alright, calm down… shh… it's going to be okay," he soothed, gently stroking his hair.

Sasuke whimpered, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. "P-Planty… where is he?"

The boy gave him a soft smile. "The plant's alright, okay? We just wanted to examine it."

"Planty is not a plant! I mean he is, but he's my friend! And don't you dare call him an it! He's a he! He doesn't like it when you call him an it, okay? So you have to call him a he! You have to! This is not an option!"

The newcomer jumped, holding his hands up. "Woah, woah! Okay! He's a he!" The boy sighed. "Anyways, Planty is fine. We just wanted to run some tests on him to, uh, make sure he wasn't… sick?"

Sasuke gasped, wiping his eyes furiously. "I-is Planty okay? He's not really sick, right?"

The boy held his hands up again, laughing in a nervous sort of way. "No, no. Everything checked out okay. Believe it!"

Sasuke grinned widely, nodding his head. He wasn't really sure why, but when the boy said 'believe it'… Sasuke knew he really could.

"So… do you remember anything before Orochimaru? And Planty?"

Sasuke tilted his head to one side, chewing on his lip. Did he remember anything before Orochimaru? Not really. There wasn't much aside from a humble town and some faceless people he used to know. Pink, orange, yellow, red, and black were all familiar colors. Teamwork. Family. Odd words, but words he thought of, nonetheless.

Then there was Planty, and after Planty… did anything else really matter?

"No, I don't remember anything," he lied, rocking slightly.

Something like hurt flashed over the stranger's expression, but then a big smile lit up his face. "That's alright! I know you're Sasuke, and you should know I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm going to be Hokage someday!"

Sasuke stuck his thumb in his mouth, chewing on the nail. "Hogake? What's a Hogake?"

Naruto stifled a laugh, shaking his head. "No! Hokage! He's like… the person everyone looks up to! The person everyone respects and appreciates! He protects everyone in Konoha, because they're all like his family. I want to be Hokage one day, so I'll be that person to the whole village!"

"Oh, I see… Can…" Sasuke turned imploring eyes to his visitor. "P-please, can I see Planty?"

Naruto winced. "Just a few more questions, alright?"

"A…Alright…" Sasuke bowed his head, nodding reluctantly.

"Do you remember what Orochimaru wanted with you?"

Sasuke stopped, tapping his chin. "He wanted my body, I think. To use… for something. I don't remember what, but we trained all of the time, and I'm really powerful! But… since I started talking to Planty, I haven't been able to use my chakra right… But I don't mind!" Sasuke suddenly felt bad inside, like he had somehow betrayed his best friend. "Friends are worth it, right? Friends are worth anything!"

Naruto smiled warmly at him, reaching out and giving his shoulder a good, hard squeeze. "That's right, Sasuke."

And Sasuke smiled.

* * *

Naruto sighed heavily, walking into the waiting room of sorts inside the psych ward of Konoha hospital. Several pairs of eyes landed on him, all of them silently begging the question, 'is he really insane?'

The blonde Jinkurichi shoved his hands into his pockets. "He, uh… he's not… good."

Sakura gave him a dirty look despite her obvious panic. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, he definitely believes his best friend is a plant, and he didn't recognize me. He knows Orochimaru wanted his body, but he doesn't know why. He says he was powerful, but lost his ability to use chakra when Planty started talking to him." Naruto took a deep breath. "The rest is so… I don't even know where to begin…"

"I want to see him!" Sakura jumped out of her seat, emerald eyes already glistening with unshed tears.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Sakura-chan…" Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "He's… not right. He won't recognize you… Ah!" He ducked down, barely missing the right cross aimed at his jaw.

"How do you know he won't recognize me?"  
"Foolish girl."

The attention instantly shifted from Naruto to the missing-nin standing a little ways off. Ice blue eyes narrowed, and he pointed at the cloaked man, visibly shaking with rage.

"Shut up! It's none of your business! I don't even know why Granny Tsunade let you come here…"

Charcoal eyes peered at him from beneath a veil of night. "It's concerning my little brother. Of course she let me in. Even if there are ANBU around every corner."

Naruto glared. "He doesn't want to see you, anyways. He hates you, remember?"

Itachi tilted his head slightly, a bored expression on his face. "He forgot his two best friends, why not forget me?"

Naruto stopped, unsure of what to say, and in that brief opening, Itachi stepped towards them, continuing his previous train of thought.

"Regardless, Sakura should not go see him. It would be emotionally traumatizing for her, and the chances of him gaining anything from it are next to nothing." The Uchiha walked past the two of them and continued down the hall.

"H-hey! Where do you think you're going?!" Naruto shouted after him, ignoring Itachi's partner, who was chuckling to himself.

"I am going to see the patient."

Sakura glared after him. "You aren't allowed to go alone!"

Itachi didn't stop. "Naruto, accompany me. You seem to have some sort of grasp on the situation."

Naruto looked at Sakura, who glowered for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. The blonde mimicked the action and then sprinted down the hall after him.

"Wait up!"

"Walk faster."

Naruto fell in step beside him, sticking out his tongue. "Geeze, you're annoying. No wonder Sasuke doesn't like you."

Itachi said nothing, and they continued in silence to Room 498.

"Well, I don't know what you're expecting, but…"

"Yo!"

Naruto turned just as Kakashi rounded the corner, holding a potted plant in his hands. The two waited until Kakashi was standing in front of them, foliage extended.

"Tests came back clean. It's not releasing any dust, pollen, or fumes that cause hallucinations. Sasuke honestly thinks the plant is his best friend, and he's thinking it of his own free will."

Itachi scowled—perhaps the first expression Naruto had ever seen him make—and Naruto took the plant from Kakashi.

"Alright. He'll be happy to have him back…"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "It's a he?"

Naruto's face twisted into an odd expression, and he nodded. "Oh, yes. It's most definitely a he. Sasuke really told me. Believe it!"

Itachi and Kakashi both gave him the same look, but Naruto only shook his head.

"Just go with it, okay? Planty's a he. Believe it."

Turning towards the door, Naruto grabbed the handle and gave his sensei a quick smile before opening the door and stepping in, Itachi on his heels.

"Shut the door," Naruto whispered, making his way towards Sasuke, who was curled up in the corner mumbling to himself. "Uh, Sasuke?"

"Quiet, Naruto! I'm trying to count my toes!" Sasuke kept his face buried in the corner, oblivious to the two other beings in the room with him.

Naruto stopped for a moment, staring at the almost skeletal boy in front of him. When was the last time he ate?

The blonde shook his head, clearing his throat. "Sasuke, I brought someone."

Sasuke whirled around, sparkles lighting his eyes. "Planty!" he screamed, glomping the blonde and tearing the plant from his arms. "Planty, you're okay!" He paused, putting his ear right next to the biggest leaf. "Yes, of course! No… why would you ask that? Oh, this is Naruto. Yeah, don't worry. He's a good guy. What? Well, no… should I have? I know, I know! You were right, and I'm sorry! Well, I still don't have pants, so… yeah…"

Naruto blinked a few times, not really knowing what to make of the scene in front of him. Shaking his head again, he cleared his throat. "Uh, Sasuke…"

"Shh… it's speaking to me." Sasuke jumped, screwing his eyes shut. "R-right! You're a he! I'm sorry I keep forgetting… N-no! Don't be mad at me! Planty…"

Naruto glanced over his shoulder at Itachi, who's eyes were only slighter wider than usual. Actually, he seemed very comfortable with the whole thing.

_Maybe I'm the crazy one, and I'm just seeing all this?_

"Sasuke, I know you're trying to talk to Planty, but I was really hoping we could try and recover some memories. And there's someone else here…"

Sasuke looked up from his best friend, Bambi eyes blinking at him in complete cluelessness. His gaze slowly travelled from Naruto to the stranger in the black and red cloak standing just a few feet away.  
His eyes widened, and he clutched Planty a little closer to himself. Naruto tensed, waiting for the reaction. Itachi watched in his typical nothingness, something like 'see, he's not crazy' faintly written on his face.

"I'm having a hallucination…" Sasuke whispered, disbelief etched into his features. "I'm having a hallucination… of Itachi!"

Naruto drove his palm to his forehead.

_This is going to take a long time._

* * *

**A\N: Please review! Reviews make me type faster! ^^**_  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Mentions:_ ****That Cousin, The Only Sane One, Ebony-Dove, Rosebunse, inubaka88, and AverageApple! Thank you so much for your reviews!**

* * *

"Sasuke, this is your brother. In the flesh. Here."

Sasuke gasped. "Really? Naruto, you're having a hallucination, too!"

Naruto shook his head. "No, he's really here! Believe it!"

Sasuke jumped up, running over and hugging the blonde. "It's okay, Naruto, 'cause I'm crazy, too!" He giggled, patting his friend on the head.

"Sasuke…"  
"Naruto, let him believe what he wants." Sasuke flinched at the sound of his brother's voice. "I'm here for observation only."  
Naruto sighed and nodded, his shoulders slumping.

"Sasuke, your brother is…" Planty stopped for a moment. "Ugly."

Sasuke busted up laughing, vaguely aware of a hand on his shoulder.

"And he really doesn't look that smart," the greens continued.

Sasuke hit the floor, clutching his sides. "Planty, stop! It's too funny!"

Naruto knelt beside him, shaking his shoulder. "Sasuke! Sasuke, can you hear me?"  
"Does he even have Mangekyou? Does he really? I mean, are you sure?"

Sasuke kicked his legs, laughing madly with tears streaming down his face. Planty leaned towards him and whispered, "Does he even lift?"  
Sasuke fully lost it at this point, falling from the hands of a very frantic Naruto. His vision blurred, his sides ached, he started to feel sick—

SMACK!

Sasuke stopped, staring at the raven-haired illusion with wide eyes. "Y… You hit me…"

"Pay attention to Naruto," it said dryly.

"You hit me!" Sasuke shouted, jumping to his feet.

Planty and Naruto both sweatdropped. "S-Sasuke! C-calm down!" they both said.

"Stupid mirage! You just try that again!"

SMACK!

His eyes were stone cold. "I'll do it again if you want."

Tears stung the corner of his eyes, and he threw his fist forwards with every intention of hitting the fake Uchiha. Pain seared through his gut, and he flew backwards into the wall. Sasuke hit the floor, nearly landing on Planty, and wrapped his arms around himself, crying softly.

"Weak."

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, but a gentle whisper caught his ear.

"Sasuke… you're not weak. You're sick right now, and he's taking an unfair advantage. Try again when you're better."

The raven sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "R-really? You mean it?"

Planty swayed. "Of course, Sasuke. Would I lie to you? And let's remember who was right about this town."

Sasuke lowered his head, ashamed. "I said I was sorry…"

"Sasuke, I was joking!" he laughed. "No more tears, Sasuke. You'll get better."

Sasuke scooped Planty up in his arms, laughing. "Th-thanks." He gently kissed the leaves. "I love you, Planty."

A heavy sigh permeated the room. "Can we please hurry up?"

Sasuke glared. "Shut up, Faketachi." Naruto laughed, and Sasuke looked at him, hugging Planty. "You have questions?"

"Yes!" Naruto said quickly. "When was the first time Planty spoke?"

"Uh… like a month ago?" Sasuke rocked his friend gently.

"Okay… what happened exactly?"

Sasuke tapped his chin. "I think… Well, I'm embarrassed to admit it, but at first, I ignored him. I thought I was just tired. Y'know, training and traveling and late hours." Sasuke's face heated up. "So the first time, nothing really happened."

Naruto nodded. "After that?"

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. "It happened a few more times before I talked back. I mean, we started talking! I wasn't back-talking Planty!" The Uchiha rushed, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

"It's okay!" Naruto laughed. "I know what you meant. Believe it!"

Sasuke nodded sheepishly.

Naruto held his hand in front of his own face, squinting. "Uh… Faketachi, can you read my notes?"

Itachi's eyes twitched. "No."

Sasuke stuck his tongue out, rolling his eyes at the stupid illusion. "Did you want to know more about Orochimaru?" he asked, turning wide eyes to Naruto.

"Yes!" The blonde nodded eagerly.

Sasuke was silent for a few moments, trying to think. "Well, he wanted my body, but I heard him talking to Kabuto about me being sick. He said I was getting worse."

Naruto frowned, and the hallucination raised an eyebrow.

"What did you do?" Naruto asked.

"I didn't eat for three whole weeks! I didn't train, either, but I'm still sick."

"Foolish brother!"

Naruto and Sasuke both jumped at Itachi's sudden outburst.

"You cannot go for three weeks without eating, idiot!" it continued, raising its voice even more.

Sasuke backed away from the enraged Uchiha. "F-Faketachi, stay over th-there!" Sasuke hit the wall, falling to the ground with his hands out in self-defense. "Don't come any closer!"

Naruto stepped between the two, holding his hands up. "Ne, Faketachi, calm down!" Then he turned to look over his shoulder. "Sasuke, you need to eat. Believe it!"

"NO!" Sasuke shouted, shaking his head and covering his ears. "No, I want to get better!"

Sasuke jumped as something pressed against his lips. He stared down at his mouth, crossing his eyes to get a better look.

"Dango?" Planty wondered aloud.

Sasuke opened his mouth slowly, and his brother's imposter pushed the food in. Sasuke cringed, chewing Itachi's favorite treat.

"I don't like sweets." He pouted, puffing up his cheeks.

"I don't care," the thing said dryly.

"I'm not going to eat it!" Sasuke shouted back.

"You have to."

"Well, I won't!"

"Yes, you will."

"No!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Mom said I don't have to eat sweets if I don't want to no matter what anyone says! So _nuh-uh!" _

Itachi blinked, slowly pulling the dango away. He stood up, returning the sweets to his sleeve. "Well, if Mom said so… suit yourself."

Naruto scratched the back of his neck. "Y'know, Sasuke, I'm really confused. You used to hate Itachi. What happened?"

Sasuke tilted his head to the side looking at the two of them. "Well, I do hate Itachi. But he's not here. It's just you, me, Planty, and Faketachi."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "You used to hate the sight of him. You punched your reflection in the mirror once, remember? All the boys laughed at you?"

Sasuke blinked a few times and then frowned. "I… remember…? I… remember that… Shika… Shikamaru. He didn't laugh. You tried not to."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. I didn't know back then, and it… it was pretty funny!"

Sasuke giggled. "Y-yeah! Yeah, it was!"

"But that still doesn't explain it…" Naruto scratched his head again. "You wanted to avenge your clan, remember? It was all you talked about!"

The raven-haired Uchiha jerked at the mention of his clan, liquid fury filling him instantly. "Why would I want to avenge those freaks?! They never liked me! They wanted to be a special boy just like Itachi!" He threw his head back and laughed, hating nothing more than the thought of his family in that moment. "Well, they got Itachi! And he killed them!" His laughed got higher and louder, racking his chest. "He killed them all! Hahahahahah! HAHAHAHAHA!" Sasuke fell back against the wall, panting for air and stroking his best friend gently, a glowing admiration in his eyes. "But not me… no… no, I'm a different kind of special… Hee hee… silly Itachi… silly clan…" He caught his breath slightly, straightening up and looking Naruto dead in the eyes. "In the end, he was just as stupid as they were. And I hate him, too." He smiled again. "Poor, poor Itachi… silly Itachi…"

Naruto blinked a few times, his jaw hanging down, and Sasuke suddenly felt very tired. He yawned, sliding to the floor with Planty clutched to his chest. The illusion of Itachi stood very still for several moments, an unreadable expression on his face.

Suddenly, he turned on his heel, marching right out of the room and closing the wall behind him.

In that moment, Sasuke was certain he was an illusion. He was one hundred percent positive. Because Itachi would never leave like that. Itachi didn't care. Itachi didn't have emotions. Itachi hated Sasuke. Itachi would have laughed at him.

_It really wasn't Itachi… _

With that comforting thought resonating in his mind, he let his eyes drift shut.

_It's a shame, too… I like Faketachi much better._

* * *

Itachi sighed, snapping the final button on his cloak and walking out the door. He glanced at Kisame, who was waiting for him with a somewhat curious expression on his face.

"So, was he really crazy?"

Itachi nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Delirious beyond repair. Hopefully they'll end up euthanizing him."

The shark nin laughed. "You're heartless, Itachi-san."

"It's for the best."

The two Akatsuki members came to a stop as they approached the gate. Kisame grinned, placing a hand on the Samehada.

"What do you want?" Itachi asked.

The ANBU looked at him silently, and then the hawk on the far right spoke up. "The Hokage wants to speak with you."

Itachi let a sigh pass his lips. After everything that had just happened and his brief conversation with Kisame, he really didn't want to deal with any of this. Technically, he didn't have to, either, but…

"We didn't break any rules. We did what was asked of us. So what's the problem."

The ANBU said nothing for a moment, and then spoke. "We were uninformed. Hokage-sama wants to talk to you. Now."

Kisame started to pull his weapon from his back, but Itachi held up a hand.

"Not now, Kisame. Let's just go with them."  
Kisame arched an eyebrow at the Uchiha, but he released the hilt and nodded. Itachi turned towards the massive red building, walking towards it.

A lethargic feeling penetrated his body. He really wanted nothing to do with any of this. It was late, he was tired, his brother was mad, he didn't get the Jinchuriki even though the boy was right next to him, and there were at least a million other things on his mind.

"_You used to hate the sight of him. You punched your reflection in the mirror once, remember? All the boys laughed at you?"_

Itachi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. _I knew he was going to hate me… but that much? _He shook his head._ No. No, I chose this. This was my doing._

"The tower is so obnoxious. And so obvious. You would think they would hide their precious leader a little bit better, Itachi-san."

"Hn." Itachi realized he was at the top of the stairs, and he walked into Tsunade's office, surprised to see the crazy blonde ninja standing there, entirely too energetic for this time of night. "What do you want?"

Tsunade glanced at him, and then turned her attention to Naruto. "Well?"

Naruto whirled around, a giant grin on his face. "Great news, guys! You're going to be staying in Konoha until Sasuke's better!"

Itachi and Kisame both visibly twitched. Twice.

"What?!"

* * *

**A\N: Please leave a review!**


	5. Chapter 5

"What?!"

Itachi looked at the nine-tails like he had grown a second head.

"You heard me. You're going to stay here until Sasuke is better."

"Absolutely not." Itachi turned to leave. "The best thing is to kill him and put him out of his misery. That's my final opinion."

Itachi reached for the door handle, colliding with Naruto's stomach as the boy jumped in his way.

"Wanna hear _my _final opinion? If _you _hadn't killed the clan, Sasuke wouldn't hate you. If he didn't hate you, he wouldn't have attacked you three years ago. If he hadn't attacked you, you wouldn't have called him weak, and he wouldn't have become obsessed with power, and he wouldn't have gone to Orochimaru, and he would be a perfectly sane jerkface of a shinobi right now." Naruto paused, as if he wasn't sure he had said all of that correctly. "Yup. Yup, that's right. I think. What I'm saying is, you're gonna clean up the mess you made!"

Tsunade cleared her throat. "Remember Sasuke did go to Orochimaru of his own will, Naruto."

Naruto scowled, and Itachi couldn't help but wonder how all the destructive power of the Kyuubi was sealed in this childish idiot.

"I don't care!" the boy shouted. "It's pretty much his fault, and pretty much is good enough."

Tsuande laced her fingers together, gazing sharply at the two Akatsuki. "Itachi, Kisame."

Itachi looked over his shoulder, wondering if Kisame was as ticked off as he was.

"We're not idiots. We realize we're not strong enough to keep you here. However… Naruto presented a lot of very good points, surprisingly enough."

"Hey! What do you mean by that, Granny Tsunade?"

Tsuande ignored him and continued. "You are after the Kyuubi, so it's beneficial for you to stay here. Wherever Sasuke goes, Naruto will be right behind. If you assist in bringing Sasuke's sanity back, you will be able to observe Naruto at all times of the day. The only thing you'll have to pay for is food, so it won't dip too much into the Akatuski's funds, and it's not as if we're asking to you do some excruciatingly difficult task. In the end, if Sasuke does end up euthanized, there will be no reason for you to stay."

"Sasuke is not going to die!" Naruto shouted, shaking his fist at the Hokage. "I already told you, I'm going to bring him back!"

Itachi scoffed. "Do you realize how stupid you're being? You're allowing your two worst enemies to learn everything about you and gain a massive advantage all for the sake of a crazy traitor who's going to end up dead. You do see how this is going to fail, right?"

Naruto turned to Itachi, fire blazing in his bright blue eyes. "Who gives a flying monkey?"

Itachi blinked, glaring over his shoulder as Kisame snorted.

"I will do whatever it takes to bring Sasuke back. Physically or mentally, it doesn't matter. He is my best friend. If he goes down, I'm going down with him."

Itachi opened his mouth to reply, but Kisame's resounding laughter cut him off.

"You've got a lot of spunk, don't you?" Kisame leaned forwards, meeting the boy's gaze evenly. "You're pretty set on having us stay. What are you going to do if we refuse?"

Itachi stared at him. _If? What does he mean 'if'?!_

"I won't let that happen! I'll figure out some way to make you stay!" Naruto shouted, his fist clenching with determination.

"Would you willingly come with us when this is all over?"

Naruto didn't miss a beat. "Yes!"

Tsunade stood up, slamming her hands down on her desk. "Naruto! We already said that kind of a deal was off-limits."

Kisame smirked. "He already agreed to it."

Naruto turned imploring eyes to his superior. "We have to get Sasuke back…"

"The answer is no, Naruto!"

"Too late, lady."

"Granny Tsunade—"

"ENOUGH!"

A heavy silent permeated the room, and Itachi took a deep breath to calm himself. "My partner and I accept the original deal. However. If, at any time, we decide that the observation is not worth the work we're doing, we can raise our demands or leave. Are we all clear on this?"  
Naruto nodded eagerly, happy to have Itachi's agreement. Tsuanade gave a sharp nod, and Kisame rolled his eyes, agreeing with some reluctance.

"Good, then…" Itachi rubbed his forehead again, feeling a headache start to set in. "Where are we staying?"

Naruto laughed as if that were the funniest thing in the world, and the next thing they knew, the two Akatsuki had his arms around their necks. "You're staying with me!"

Kisame growled. "Itachi-san, it's already not worth it."

Itachi sighed. "I can see that."

Naruto threw his head back and laughed.

* * *

Itachi groaned, rolling over and glaring out the window. If only the sunshine was as afraid of Mangekyou as the rest of the world. Sighing, he rolled back over the other way, pulling the blankets up over his head.

THUD!

Itachi's eyes snapped open, and he found himself face to face with Naruto Uzumaki.

_Naruto… Uzumaki…?_

The raven sat straight up, a horrified expression on his face. A familiar laugh caught his ear, and he looked to the right, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Kisame sitting there.

"Did you have the same lapse of memory I did?"

Itachi blinked and then started to nod, slowly remembering everything that had happened the night before. "Hn."

He braced his arms against the floor, twisting his back. Relief flooded through him with the satisfactory crunch, and he did the same to his neck before stretching and laying back down on the floor mat. He let a long stream of air pass his lips.

"What was I thinking…?"

Kisame, already dressed and whittling a small piece of wood in his hands. "I was hoping you'd be able to tell me that."

Itachi rubbed his face, glancing at the unconscious shinobi. "Let's sneak out before he wakes up. We're not obligated to help them."

The two nin froze when they heard a harsh crackling noise, and Naruto let out a grunt, reaching up to his nightstand and slapping the headset.

"Naruto! Sasuke is in hysterics and wants to see you again!"

"I'll be right there…" The boy pulled himself to his feet, turning to his houseguests. "Oh, hey. You're awake. I'll be at the clinic. There's ramen in the kitchen or you could eat out, so… yeah." The boy yawned, and it was obvious from the circles under his eyes and the fact that he had slept in his clothes that he hadn't gotten any sleep last night.

"We'll be over in a little while," Itachi said.

Naruto rubbed his eyes, stumbling out the door. Itachi turned to Kisame, pointing in the direction the blonde had gone, a questioning expression on his face. Kisame pursed his lips, thinking for a few moments.

"He's pretty weak right now… and disoriented."

Itachi glanced at the bed. "I suppose they called him every time something was wrong with Sasuke. That had to be horrendous."

Kisame frowned. "It couldn't have been that bad."

The Uchiha scoffed loudly. "He never slept well, even when he was a baby, and that was when he was mentally stable."

The shark laughed. "Ha! Poor kids."

Itachi turned towards the window. "Kakashi, you should know I can sense you."

The Jounin stepped around the corner, sitting on Naruto's windowpane, holding a book in his right hand. "I would've come in sooner, but I was really getting into chapter seven." The pages snapped together. Itachi and Kakashi locked gazes. "I thought you were going to observe Naruto."

Itachi said nothing for a few moments, and then he turned towards the corner of the room, grabbing his Akatsuki cloak and throwing it on. "He just left. We'll be following him in a moment."

Kakashi looked out the window, an observant look in his eyes. When he was satisfied with whatever was going on outside, he turned back to Itachi. "Do you remember where the hospital is?"

Itachi looked at Kakashi. Kakashi stared right back. They locked gazes for the second time, millions of words and thoughts passing between them. Kakashi knew Itachi wasn't planning on staying, Itachi knew he knew, and they were arguing, in a sense.

He gripped the cloak in his hands. He was Akatsuki now. He was going to return to the Base and get orders from the leader. He wasn't going to waste time in a pathetic village he had abandoned years ago.

"Well, if you don't want to miss him, you better get going. Knowing him, he'll be heading right for Ichiraku as soon as Sasuke is calmed down."

The cloak slowly dropped to the ground. Itachi stepped away from it, tying his hair back and making his way to the door. "We're leaving now."

Kisame raised his eyebrows but got to his feet and followed him out. Itachi pulled the door shut behind them, walking down to the ground level and out into the streets.

"Itachi-san…?"

"I know. We're going to go with it for now."

Kisame sighed. "Psh. I'm starting to regret telling you about Sasuke."

Itachi said nothing, giving him a look that meant death.

"Alright, alright, calm down." Kisame sighed. "I guess I didn't need to bring all this stuff then."

Itachi kept walking. "We'll stop by the house later and you can drop it off then."

Itachi grit his teeth as they continued down the street, inwardly kicking himself like a madman.

_What am I doing?_

He wished he had an answer for himself, but he didn't. He had no clue.

* * *

"RAWR!" Sasuke jumped up, tackling Faketachi as soon as he entered the room. "I got you Faketachi! Rawr!"

Sasuke whimpered as the hallucination grabbed him by the scruff, putting him on the ground. Sasuke giggled, running over to Naruto, who was passed out on the floor, snuggling up to him.

"Rawr!" Sasuke bit his nose, laughing.

Naruto jumped. "Hnn… Sasuke… go back to sleep…"

Faketachi walked over to Naruto, crouching down and patting his face. "Wake up, Naruto."

Sasuke watched them carefully, sitting on his haunches with his hands on his knees. He glanced to his left, eyes widening when he saw who was standing there.

"Mr. Fishman! It's you! You're here!" He smiled widely, running up and tackling the blue man. "Rawr, Mr. Fishman!"

The man raised an eyebrow. "Kisame."

Sasuke frowned. "That's a stupid name. You are Mr. Fishman. I've decided."

Fishman glared at him. "I really don't like you when you're crazy…"

Sasuke looked over at Faketachi and Naruto, hanging from Fishman's neck. "Naruto! Wake up!"

Faketachi gave the boy a few hard shakes, smacking his face lightly. "Naruto, come on." He gave him another jerk, looking at Sasuke.

"How often were you up last night?"

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders, wondering what kind of stupid question that was supposed to be. "Uh, I dunno. One time, two times… three, ten, twenty, a hundred. Maybe a million! "

Faketachi and Fishman sighed in unison, and Sasuke sensed that something was wrong. He looked to Planty for help. "Ne, Planty, what do you think the problem is?"

"I don't know, Sasuke," is what Planty said. "It seems as though something is wrong with Naruto…"

Sasuke gasped. _Oh, no… did I… did I get Naruto sick?_

Faketachi blanched. "I really don't have the time or patience for this… Naruto, wake up. We're going to get ramen."

Naruto jerked awake, jumping to his feet and pointing to the ceiling. "I will eat it! I will eat all of it! Myself!"

Faketachi flicked his ear, standing up. "We'll take Sasuke to some locations from his past. There's a chance it will bring something back. Uchiha's are very visual about things, after all."

Sasuke grabbed up Planty. "I want to bring him!"

Faketachi frowned. "No."

"Yes! I'm bringing him."

"No, you are not."

"Yes, I am!"

"My word is final, Sasuke. The answer is no. End of discussion."

* * *

"You got spanked, Itachi."

"Silence, Kisame."

"Rawr!"

Fishman laughed, and Faketachi twitched. Sasuke hugged Planty, skipping down the streets after Naruto.

"Come on, Sasuke! Let's go get ramen!"

Sasuke ran after him, hiking up his dress. "Okay, Naruto!"

"Really… he has you whipped."

"That is not true!"

"And what's with the dress?"

"He just wants to wear it…"

"Whipped."

"Kisame!"

Sasuke giggled. _Faketachi really is cool._

Planty swayed. "I think Mr. Fishman is his friend!"

Sasuke laughed and nodded. "Really? I was thinking that, too!" Sasuke turned on his heel, running back to Faketachi and Fishman. "Hey!"

They both looked at him, putting their argument on hold.

"Are you guys best friends?" Sasuke asked innocently, hugging Planty to his chest and rocking on his heels.

"No, we're teammates," they both said dryly.

Sasuke pouted. "You look like best friends! Faketashi and Mr. Fishman… best friends forever!"

"No."

Sasuke stuck his bottom lip out, looking at Faketachi with wide, watery eyes. He buried his chin in Planty's leaves, adding a little sniffle.

"…"

Sasuke blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

"We… are friends, yes."

"Yay!" Sasuke ran over to Naruto, giggling madly. "They're friends!"

"Who?" Naruto asked.

"Faketachi and Mr. Fishman!"

Naruto gave him a thumbs up. "That's great! Old man, we'll need some extra special ramen to celebrate!"

"…"

Fishman sniggered.

"Whipped."


	6. Chapter 6

**A\N: Not much to say... Mentions will be in the next chapter! ^^**

* * *

"Wow! This place is so big!"

Itachi watched his younger brother run through the Uchiha compound, arms spread in an attempt to fly, giggling like the madman that he was and smiling brighter than the sun. He looked unbelievably happy, and Itachi chalked that up to the fact that he was no longer confined to the little white room.

"Naruto! Play hide n' seek with me!"

Naruto dropped his backpack—which was filled with everything they would need in the event that Sasuke went crazy and tried to harm civilians—and ran after his best friend. "Sure!"

The two of them disappeared into the compound, and Itachi turned to look at Kisame.

"Why are you looking at me that way?"

Kisame grinned, crossing his arms over his chest. "You've had at least ten chances to sneak off. Do you really think this will be beneficial to Akatsuki's mission?"

"…"

"Itachi-san."

"I think it could be, and I think I'm enjoying a brief vacation." Itachi turned away from his partner, making his way into a place he once called home.

"Tch. You killed you entire clan in one night, but let him live. Now he's completely helpless, and you're not killing him. In fact, you won't leave his side." Kisame followed him, not at all convinced. "And you're trying to tell me all of this is just a whim?"

"It is."

Kisame rolled his eyes. "Itachi-san—"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Itachi jumped, whirling around. _Sasuke! _He took off running towards the sound, panic seizing him for a moment. "Sasuke? Naruto? Where are you?"

Kisame was right on his tail, scanning the streets for any sign of the two young shinobi.

Itachi rounded the corner, speeding up when he saw Sasuke on the ground in the distance. "Sasuke, what—"

"Stop! Don't step on him!"

Itachi skidded to a stop, looking down and seeing Planty on the ground, shards of broken pottery around him.

"Faketachi, you have to help him!" Sasuke screamed, ignoring his skinned knees and bruised arms. "He's a very sensitive person, Faketachi! His roots can't be exposed to the sun like this! He needs to breathe dirt, Faketachi! He needs to _breathe!"_

Itachi sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Foolish little brother, it's just a plant."

"No, he's not!" Sasuke cried, growing more frantic by the second. "He's my best friend, and he's hurt! You have to help him or—"

Sasuke stopped speaking suddenly, staring at Kisame, who had shoved and empty pot into his hands.

"Stop screaming." Kisame knelt down and picked up the plant, moving towards the pot.

"Now, wait a second!" Itachi interjected, getting down on the ground beside his partner. "You can't just put the plant in there. You have to put some dirt in on the bottom and then some on the sides, and you have to pack it down right!" Itachi scooped up some of the dirt and put it into the new pot. "Now put it in."  
Kisame scoffed, doing as he was told. "Itachi-san the florist. Who knew?"

"Shut up. I help Zetsu sometimes." Itachi put more soil into the pot, packing it down gently around Planty's base. "There. Problem solved."

Sasuke giggled, grabbing his precious plant into his arms. "Thank you, Faketachi!" He snuggled his face against the smooth clay. "Rawr!"

Itachi paled. _Not that again…_

"Where did Naruto go?" Kisame asked, looking around for the blonde jinkurichi.

Itachi scanned the area, frowning slightly. "I'm not sure…"

"Sasuke! Look what I found!"

Sasuke's head whipped up and he looked around, returning his attention to Planty when he couldn't see anything. A few minutes passed, and Naruto appeared in the streets, running towards them and waving something over his head.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, rocking Planty back and forth.

Naruto ran up to them, holding the object out in his arms. Itachi's shoulders slumped. Sasuke screamed.

"Mr. Roary! Rawr! RAAAWWWR!" He laughed like a maniac, reaching for the toy from where he sat on the ground. "I want him, I want him, I want him! Give him to me!"

Naruto tossed the toy over to him, brow crinkling at the broken pot. "What happened?"  
"Shh!" Itachi and Kisame scolded him in unison.

Naruto jumped, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh… sorry."

"It's okay. It's all better now," Sasuke said, grabbing his two best friends and starting to get to his feet. He let out a yelp, falling back down instantly.

"What the matter?" Naruto asked, bending over and looking at Sasuke's legs. "They don't look broken to me."  
"My ankle hurts." Sasuke pouted, pointing to Itachi. "You have to carry me."

Ebony eyebrows slid upwards. "I don't think so."

"Yes, you have to! Because I said so." Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest, giving a little huff.

"I don't really care what you say. You can manage to walk with a little sprained ankle. You're not eight anymore." Itachi crossed his arms over his chest, glaring.

Sasuke glared back.

Itachi glared harder.

Sasuke activated his sharingan.

Itachi did the same.

Sasuke began to cry.

Itachi carried Sasuke.

* * *

"Hey, why are we in a forest?" Sasuke stared, wide-eyed, at everything around him. He watched the squirrels scurry across the ground and giggled when he saw a butterfly flittering in the wind. "It's pretty! But why are we here?"

"We're going to try and see if you can use some of your chakra," Mr. Fishman explained. "Naruto said one of the first chakra control activities you did was walking up trees. Your ankle should be feeling a little better by now, so you shouldn't have any problems."

Sasuke nodded, hugging Faketachi a little tighter around the neck. Planty leaned towards him, whispering softly. "I'm sure he won't drop you, Sasuke."

"How do you know?" he questioned.

"He's very strong, and he's carried you before," the leaves comforted.

Sasuke snuggled a little closer. "What if he drops me on purpose?"

"I'm not going to drop you," Faketachi snapped, sounding slightly out of breath.

The younger Uchiha glared at him. "You were talking to loud! I couldn't hear Planty!"

"You don't need to." Faketachi glanced over his shoulder. "I'm talking now. Planty can wait."

Sasuke grit his teeth angrily, wanting nothing more than to punch the hallucination in front of him. But it would be pointless. It wasn't the _real _Itachi, so it wouldn't serve any purpose.

"Hmph."

"What's your problem?" Faketachi jostled him a little, walking over to a large tree and sitting him down.

Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest, glaring angrily. "If you were the _real _Itachi, I'd hit you."

Faketachi laughed softly. "You can hit me if you want. I don't mind."

Mr. Fishman laughed, too. "Does that go for me, too?"

Faketachi scowled. "No."

Naruto ran into the clearing, giving the trio a thumbs up. "The area's clear and no one should be coming this way!"

Sasuke smiled and stood up, setting Planty and Mr. Roary on the ground. "Okay!"

Itachi stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, give it a try. See if any of it comes back to you naturally. If not, maybe we can try some things…"

Sasuke ignored him, already trying to run up the tree. He made it a about three steps before what little chakra he could feel gave out, and he tumbled to the ground, hitting down with a loud thud. Shaking himself, he got to his feet and tried again with the same results. For a third time, he ran and tumbled back down, only to dust himself off. On the fourth try, Naruto ran with him, catching him when he fell and starting back at the beginning. Same with the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth… and all those other times he lost count of. Naruto kept smiling and running with him, grabbing his hand to stop him from falling when his chakra failed him.

_Naruto seems like a real friend. He's kinda like Planty. He catches me every single time, and he keeps smiling at me…_

"You'll get it if you keep trying! Believe it!"

Sasuke ran towards the tree, skidding to a stop right at the base. Naruto kept running, stopping when he realized Sasuke wasn't following him.

"Sasuke, come on! You can't give up!"

Sasuke blinked hard, seeing strange colors fly over his vision. Orange, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, green, brown. He felt really sick to his stomach and his head started to throb.

"N…Naruto…?" Sasuke stumbled backwards, hitting the ground as everything faded into darkness.

* * *

The lights came back on almost instantly. Naruto was looking down at him with a worried expression, and Mr. Fishman and Faketachi weren't far off. Sasuke slowly sat up, holding his head, even though it wasn't pounding anymore.

"Sasuke, are you okay? What happened?"

Sasuke turned to Naruto slowly, blinking at him. His face… it was so familiar. But there was another face in his mind. A face he hadn't seen before, but… no, maybe he had.

"Naruto…" He looked at the blonde for a few moments before speaking again. "You asked Sakura for some tips. Tell me what she said."

Naruto blinked a few times, shock registering on his face. "Sasuke… you remember!"

Sasuke frowned. "I… remember…?" Sasuke stood up, pointing to him. "You were shorter last time I said that! And—and you had different clothes! Do you know what this means?!"

Naruto nodded eagerly.

"You grow _really _fast but never gain a better sense of style!" Sasuke grinned. "That's really cool! Weird, but cool!"

Naruto smacked himself in the forehead, and Faketachi and Mr. Fishman exchanged glances.

"Anyways, can we get back to the tree?" Sasuke asked, anxious to get on with his training.

Naruto nodded. "Sure. I'll give you some tips, and we'll try again. I know you'll get it this time! Believe it!"

Sasuke nodded and tried to pay attention as Naruto gave him some advice, but he couldn't help feeling something wasn't right. Something was… missing. When he had woken up, he had felt so complete and so right, but then… everything faded again. Who was that girl he had mentioned? Why did he know her name? Or… was it a he? What was he talking about again?

_I guess it's not important! If it was, I would remember._

But Sasuke didn't feel right in his tummy, and that made him worry.

_Everything's fine… I'm… fine…_

His tummy still said no.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Mentions:**_**That Cousin, The Only Sane One, Ebony-Dove, Rosebunse, inubaka88, AverageApple, maxridelover, friesianone, ViolaPlayer12, and Dragon77!**

* * *

_Training Sasuke Day Four,_

_He still can't climb all the way up a tree, though he is getting better. Naruto is as perky as ever, and it seems to be helping Sasuke a great deal. I, personally, am trying hard to keep from ripping my hair out or giving the Samehada a hug. If Kisame says I'm whipped one more time, we'll be having sushi for dinner. Except Naruto will want ramen. And I haven't had dango since this entire ordeal started. To summarize, this is much harder and more stressful than I thought, and pretty soon Leader-Sama is going to wonder what happened to us. Either that, or Kisame will figure out that I have ulterior motives, and he'll go back to the Base and tell on me._

Itachi looked up from his scroll, wondering why on earth he was writing all this down.

Sasuke and Naruto were still going at that tree, and Kisame was watching them with a somewhat amused expression on his face.

"Hey, Itachi-san."

Itachi looked at him.

"If Sasuke is just insane, why can't he used his chakra? I thought maybe the insanity had made him a little slow at figuring things out, but this is getting ridiculous. I think he's actually lost his capability to manipulate his own chakra."

Itachi scowled and watched his brother's movements as the duo ran up the tree once more. "He can still control some of it. If he couldn't, he wouldn't be improving at all, but he is. Slowly but surely, he is."

Kisame traced his finger in the dirt idly. "Right after he passed out and regained some memories was when he did his best. Maybe we should focus more on his memories and less on training."

Itachi nodded slowly. "We could try it, I guess. To be honest, this whole situation has me confused. I've been reading up on it—"

"Oh? Reading what?"

Itachi stared at him impassively. "They gave me access to some of Konoha's more sensitive documents and records for Sasuke's sake. I told you this would be beneficial to Akatsuki."

Kisame rolled his eyes and continued playing in the dirt.

"Anyways, I've been reading up on insanity and delusion in rogue ninjas, and Sasuke has several strange symptoms that don't line up right."

"Like?"

"Like most delusional people hear inanimate objects speaking to them. Very few get emotionally attached to them. They also tend to be violent and angry, not innocent and childlike. The chakra issue is new, too. Most of the other things are minor—like the cross-dressing and the belief that I'm a hallucination—but they are inconsistencies nonetheless." Itachi sighed, sealing the scroll in his hands and shoving it into his bag. "I'll continue to research it. In the meantime, we'll try the idea you suggested."

Itachi stood, picking up his bag and calling the two young ninjas. Naruto and Sasuke came over, and Kisame stood as well, cracking his back.

"What is it, Faketachi?" Sasuke asked, panting from the recent exertion.

"We're going to try and gather some more memories like the one you had before. We think it will help your training."

"Oh! Okay!" Sasuke didn't seem to notice that he was missing memories in the first place, and anytime he was confronted about it, he said that nothing but Planty mattered. "So where are we going to go?"

"First we're going to see if you can remember anything on your own. Are there any places that you think are important?" Itachi questioned.

The raven scratched his chin for a moment, frowning. "Uh… the training grounds?"

Itachi nodded. "You probably spent quite a bit of time there, yes. Is there anything else?"

Sasuke was quiet for several more moments, and then he shook his head. "No, I can't think of anything."

"Naruto?" Itachi sighed, turning to the blonde for help.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "Sasuke never really did anything but train, eat, sleep, study, and go on missions."

Itachi's lips twitched into a slight frown. "There had to be _something _else he did with his time."

"Nah, not really. Although, there was this one time we tried to see what was under Kakashi-sensei's mask! But that backfired…"

Sasuke, no longer interested in the conversation, ran over to Planty and Mr. Roary, picking both of them up and walking towards a nearby stream. Itachi sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_I wanted him to become powerful—not work himself to death and have no life!_

"Fish!"

The trio turned towards the creek where Sasuke was running over the stones, looking into the water and giggling like a madman.  
"Fishy, fishy, fishy! I can see you! I can see you!"

Itachi snapped his fingers to get Sasuke's attention. "Sasuke, get over here. We're leaving."

"I can see you, little fishy!" Sasuke laughed obliviously, chasing the little creature down the stream in the opposite direction. "I can see you! I can see—"

"Sasuke! Get over here this instant!"

Sasuke stood very still in the water, staring down at his feet.

Kisame sniggered.

_Sushi it is._

"Sasuke!"

"I can… see… you…?" Sasuke looked up at the sky, still holding Planty and Mr. Roary to his chest. "I can…"

Itachi sighed heavily, storming over to his brother and grabbing his arm. "Sasuke, I told you to—"

Sasuke whirled on him, sharingan ablaze, and Itachi froze, watching him very carefully.

_If he's having a flashback of some sort, attacking him and disrupting it could damage him severely. But… is he remembering something or throwing a childish fit? That's the question._

"Sasuke… what's the problem?"

Sasuke stared at him for several moments. His eyes widened, a look of terror flashing across his face. He released Mr. Roary, his shaking hand travelling up to his shoulder. Gripping it, he whimpered, staring at his brother with perhaps the most pitiful expression Itachi had ever seen. Planty fell into the water. Sasuke ground his teeth together, his knuckles turning white.

Sasuke hit his knees, a blood-curdling scream ripping through his jaws.

Itachi lurched forwards, catching him before he could fall into the creek completely. "Sasuke!"

Sasuke let out another scream, gripping Itachi's shirt and jerking as if he were having a seizure.

"Sasuke!" Naruto ran towards them, splashing into the water. "Sasuke, what's wrong?"

"Naruto, get his stuff and follow me."

Naruto did as he was told, and Itachi picked his brother up, carrying him towards the shore. "The best thing to do in this situation is to remain calm and assess the facts."

Itachi put Sasuke down on the grass, placing him on his back and checking his vitals, breathing, and pulse. Naruto and Kisame watched over his shoulder.

"He's stable but in pain." Itachi slid the dress from Sasuke's shoulder, looking at the once black curse seal. Now it was a deep violet color.

_Violet? It's supposed to be red or black. Nothing else._

Itachi pressed a hand to the mark, sitting Sasuke up slowly and pulling him against his chest. "Breathe, Sasuke, it will pass." _Probably._

"It h-hurts, Faktachi!" Sasuke wailed again, trembling in the Akatsuki's arms.

A shadow fell over them, and Itachi looked up. Kisame stared at him with something like faint concern in his eyes.

"Is there anything you want me to do, Itachi-san?"  
Itachi thought for a second and then shook his head. "No, we just need to get him home." Itachi slowly stood up, pulling Sasuke with him. "Let's go back into town and try to make him comfortable."

Kisame nodded, walking over to the trees and gathering their bags. Naruto followed him, and Itachi picked Sasuke up bridal style, carrying him towards Konoha.

_Tonight is going to be a very long night._

* * *

**A\N: Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A\N: Not much to say except that this was really fun to write! I hope you get a few laughs out of it... Enjoy!**

* * *

Kisame watched as Itachi sat Sasuke down on the floor mat, noticing how gently his partner was handling the young Uchiha.

"There you go," Itachi sighed, standing up and cracking his back.

_At least he stopped screaming._

"F-Faketachi, it really hurts!"

"I know. I'm going to get you some medicine." Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, I'm going to the hospital. Naruto, you go tell the Hokage what's going on. Kisame, stay with Sasuke."

"Wait—what?"

But Itachi was already gone.

"Have fun!" Naruto waved over his shoulder, jumping out the window.

Then it was just Kisame and Sasuke. The raven peered at him with tear-filled eyes. Kisame stared.

_Oh, boy…_

"So… you're in pain. How's that going?"

Sasuke whined. "Not good at all."

Kisame nodded. "Good, good."

Sasuke stared at him. "H-how is that good?"

Kisame shrugged. "Heck if I know."

"Well…" Sasuke sniffled, staring at the plant on the table. "Planty wants to know why you're blue."

"…" Kisame watched him for several moments in silence. "We don't talk about that."

Sasuke pouted. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Why?"

Kisame crossed his arms. "I just don't."

"Why?"

"Oh, for the love of—"

"Are you mad at me?" Sasuke asked softly.

Kisame sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I'm not mad, I'm just… irked."

"Why?"

Kisame twitched. "How about a magic trick?"

"Oh my gosh! You're a magician?!" Sasuke squealed, jumping up and down excitedly. He stopped suddenly, pain contorting his features. "O-Ow! Ow! It hurts, Mr. Fishman!"

Kisame put a hand on the shoulder that wasn't ailing him and pushed him back to the floor. "Just… sit still and it should stop hurting." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking around for something he could use a water jutsu on without completely destroying it. He spied some flowers on the windowsill. "There." He pointed to it in order to draw Sasuke's attention, and then he performed a few simple hand seals. A small cloud formed over the plants, and a gentle rain began to fall over the designated area, watering them evenly.

Sasuke gaped, his eyes wide and his jaw slowly falling to his chest. "Oh… my… gosh! That's so cool, Mr. Fishman, you just made a little raincloud! Do you see that? Do you—do you—oh my gosh, Planty, look! Mr. Roary, look!"

Kisame smirked, waving it off. "Psh, that's nothing. I'll show you some _real _water jutsu sometime. I mean… I am the best there is."

Sasuke continued to stare up at him in wonder. "Mr. Fishman… are you a god?"

Kisame grinned. _Okay, maybe this kid isn't so bad. _

"Show me more magic! Please, Mr. Fishman the god, show me more magic!"

* * *

Itachi and Naruto returned some time later, and Itachi gave Sasuke medicine to relieve the pain. He only hoped he wouldn't have to use the injection they had given him in case the pain came back. Sasuke hated needles.

Itachi sternly insisted Sasuke stop referring to Kisame as 'Mr. Fishman the god' much to Kisame chagrin. The day went on without a hitch for the most part, other than that one time Sasuke suddenly screamed, 'Leprechauns!' and threw his dinner against the wall. He still had some reluctance when it came to food, and Itachi assumed this was because he had made himself believe food was hurting him. However, he was slowly coming to grips with the fact that he needed food to make his tummy happy.

Itachi busied himself with studying, reading the endless records and documents on Orochimaru's experiments—namely, the Curse Seal. However, despite the fact that he was up until one thirty researching, nothing came of it. They still didn't know why Sasuke was having so much pain or why the mark was discolored.

Soon enough, it was nighttime, and the four of them were sound asleep in various places around Naruto's room, a long day of Sasuke-care ensuring they would sleep very well that night.

Well, some of them would.

* * *

Itachi jerked awake, eyes focusing on the young raven on top of him. "Huh? What?"

"Faketachi, I have to pee!"

Itachi groaned, rolling over to go back to sleep and knocking Sasuke off in the process. "Then go."  
"I can't go alone." Sasuke fiddled with his dress. "Bad guys might get me."

Itachi sighed. "Really?" Groaning, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "It's just down the stairs. Like… right at the bottom. Just go."

Sasuke sniffled quietly, sticking his bottom lip out.

Itachi glared. "That does nothing." Standing up, he cracked his back and started for the exit. "Come on."

Sasuke grabbed Planty and Mr. Roary, walking towards the door. Itachi didn't even question it. It was three am. There were no questions at three am.

"Thanks, Faketachi!"

"Mm-hmm."

Sasuke grabbed his sleeve and hopped down the steps beside his brother, smiling. "This is fun!"

"Yup…"

Sasuke opened the door, running over to the urinals. He reached for the hem of his dress, stopping when he realized his hands were full.

"Itachi, will you hold them?"

The older Uchiha sighed, taking both of the objects. "Just go already."

"But you're watching!"

"I'm not watching, I'm just standing here." Itachi yawned, wanting nothing more than sleep.

"But…" Sasuke pouted.

Itachi sighed. "Fine, I'll turn around."

"No, you have to go in a stall!"

Itachi growled. "Why? I'm not even looking."

"You just have to." Sasuke shrugged, as it that were the most logical explanation in the world.

For a while, Itachi just stared, and then he turned and walked into a nearby stall. "I'm in a stall. Now_ pee _for the love of sharingan."

Sasuke did as he was told, and Itachi waited for him to finish, trying to recall if he had been this fussy as a child.

"Faketachi, is this what they call 'family bonding?'"

Itachi let his head hit the side of the stall. "Not even close."

Sasuke finished up and gave Itachi permission to come out.

"Good, can we go now?"

"No! I have to wash my hands!"

Itachi nodded, waiting by the door. That was reasonable enough.

Sasuke reached for the spigot, but then he stopped. "What's that, Mr. Roary?"

_Oh, no…_

"You have to go, too?" Sasuke ran over, grabbing the dinosaur from his brother and returning to the wall. He hold Mr. Roary at the appropriate distance and shut his eyes.

"Shut your eyes, Faketachi!"

Itachi sighed and did as he was told. Several minutes passed in silence.

"Is he done yet?"

"I dunno. I'll ask! Are you done? Oh! Okay! He says he finished a while ago."

Itachi's eyes snapped open. "What?!"

"Now we have to wash hands!"

Itachi rubbed his forehead. _Almost over… it's almost over…_

Sasuke washed his hands, and then Mr. Roary washed his hands, and then Sasuke reached for Planty. Itachi blinked in confusion.

"But Planty didn't use the bathroom."

"But he still needs to wash! It's dirty in here. You have to wash, too!"

Itachi sighed heavily, his shoulders heaving, and he walked over to the sink, setting Planty down. "We'll let Planty go first."

So Planty sat there. And he sat there. And sat there. And sat there.

"Is he done yet?"

"Nope!"

So there was more sitting. And watching. And sitting. And watching.

"How about now?"

"Huh-uh!"

More sitting. More watching. More washing. More sitting. And more twitching, on Itachi's part.

"Now, Sasuke?"

"No, Faketachi! Be patient!"

"We've been standing here for forty minutes! He is _clean!" _Itachi didn't allow any objections, and he quickly washed his hands, turned off the water and moved towards the door.

"Faketachi, wait! Your hands are still dirty!"

Itachi whirled on him. _"How _could these hands _possibly _be dirty?!"

"Because you touched the dirty spigots!" Sasuke pointed at him frantically, backing away as if Itachi had the plague.

"Well how am I supposed to turn the water off then?!" Itachi realized he was shouting, and he tried to calm himself down, but Sasuke was really working on his last nerve.

"Use your foot!"

Dead silence.

Sasuke smiled obliviously.

Itachi twitched.

"My foot."

"Yes!"

"…"

Itachi walked over the sink, using every single ounce of restraint he had to not re-test his abilities. He washed his hands and then used his foot to turn off the water, taking deep breaths to steady himself.

"Good. We're clean, we used the bathroom, and we're all set for bed." Itachi walked over to the door, using his foot to open it just in case. "Let's go."

"Wait!"

Itachi twitched again. "What. Could. You. Possibly. Need. Now."

Sasuke fidgeted, blushing. "Well, all of that running water made me have to go again."

Itachi stared for several moments, and then he walked out of the bathroom. "I'm done now, Sasuke."

"W-wait, you can't leave me! Faketachi!" Sasuke ran over to the door but wouldn't go any further. "Faketachi, I really have to go!" he cried.

Itachi ignored him, thundering up the stairs and down the hall.

"Hey!" someone shouted. "I'm trying to sleep!"

"Shut up, peasant, before I rip your head off and throw it out the window!" Itachi screamed back.

There was silence in the hall.

Itachi stormed into Naruto's room and threw himself on the floor, pulling the blankets up over his head. He let out a long stream of air, his anger fading, and passed out almost instantly.

* * *

"Faketachi! Faketachi, come back! Please, come back! D-don't leave me! I'm s-so s-sorry! Please don't go! I'm scared! I'm really, really scared! I-Itachi! Nii-san, don't leave me here all alone! Nii-san!"

* * *

**A\N: Wow! 27 people are following this story! That's super awesome!**

**Uh, not to be picky, but... reviews are greatly appreciated! So maybe if you have an extra second in your schedule today, you could drop one off for me? Thanks so much! Love ya!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Wow, guys! 31 follows and 32 reviews! This is awesome! I never thought this story would do so well... thank you so much for you support and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Mentions will be in Chapter 11!**

* * *

Itachi's eyes fluttered open, and he let out a long sigh.

_I feel like a wrung-out dishrag… I didn't sleep hardly at all…_

"Itachi-san, have you seen Sasuke?"

Itachi looked at his partner, blinking tiredly. "Huh? Well… he had to get up and use the bathroom… but that was…" He looked at the clock. "About six hours ago… and then we were down there for an hour and a half… an hour and… a… half…" He moaned, falling back in the sheets.

"Itachi-san, are you okay?"

No. The correct answer to that question was no. His head was pounding, his body felt like lead, his energy was sapped, and his muscles were tense and knotted.

"I'm fine. I take it Sasuke didn't come back?"

Kisame nodded. "Naruto just left to look for him. I was planning on following as soon as I woke you up."

Itachi nodded, pulling himself to his feet and nearly falling back down. "Yes, we should all look for him and, uh…" Itachi blinked away dizziness. "Let's go…"

Kisame gave him a suspicious look, but then got up and walked over to the door. "See you down there, Itachi-san."  
Itachi nodded, waiting until Kisame was down the hall before lowering his head and coughing violently.

_This lack of sleep… it's not making my condition any better…_

He shook his head, getting to his feet and walking out into the hall.

_Once we find Sasuke, I could just take a nap… it's not like I have many pressing things to do here…_

Rolling his shoulders in an attempt to get rid of the knots, he got to the bottom of the stairs and looked around for any sign of Kisame.

"In here, Itachi-san." Kisame's voice was loud but hesitant, as if he was afraid to shout.

Itachi walked over and stepped into the bathroom, stopping when he saw his little brother curled up in Kisame's arms, sobbing hard.

"S…Sasuke…" Itachi felt guilt rush over him, and he looked down, struggling to find the words to say.

The young Uchiha looked pitiful. That was really the only word to describe his condition. Pitiful and pathetic. His hair was a mess, his eyes were red and puffy, snot was streaming down his face, and from the strangely colored spot on his dress it looked like he had wet himself. He was still crying, whimpering and making small animal noises. His arms were latched around Kisame's neck, and he didn't look like he wanted to let go any time soon.

"T-t-t-tachi," he sputtered. Kisame wiped his nose with a tissue, trying to keep the snot from getting into his mouth. "Y-you l-l-left." His breathe hitched as he tried to suck in air, failing miserably. "T-tachi, wh-why?"

He started to wail again, and Itachi stared at the floor, still at a loss for words. Kisame looked up at him, frowning.

"Itachi-san… really?"

Itachi jerked suddenly. "It wasn't my fault!" he shouted. "It was three in the morning, and we were down here for almost two hours, and I had to go in a stall while he peed, and then the dinosaur had to pee, and then Planty washed his hands for, like, forty minutes, and then I had to wash my hands and turn off the sink with my foot, Kisame—_my foot! _And then he had to pee _again _and I just—_Kisame, I used my foot!_—I just got so angry, and I was so tired—_forty minutes, Kisame, the plant washed his hands for forty minutes! I used my foot!"_

Itachi's shoulders heaved with every shuddering breath he drew in, panting after his long rant. Kisame and Sasuke both stared at him with wide eyes. Naruto, having heard the commotion, poked his head in the bathroom, and he also stared.

"My foot, Naruto," Itachi squeaked.

Sasuke sniffled, dragging his arm over his eyes. "I'm… I'm s-sorry, Tachi…"

Itachi groaned, rubbing his face. "It's not your fault… you just had to pee… can't blame you for that…"

Kisame stood up, bringing Sasuke with him. "I think… we should just forget this ever happened."

Sasuke looked down, pouting. "I'm mad at him…"

Kisame glanced down at him. "I don't really care. Sasuke, I know you were scared, and it wasn't really fair of Itachi to leave you here, but we can't change what happened. It's all over now."

Sasuke nodded slowly, hiccupping softly, and he reached his arms out for Itachi, his eyes pleading.

"Tachi…"

Itachi grabbed him under the arms, walking out of the bathroom and over to the stairs, ignoring the wet spot pressing against his stomach. "Naruto, is there a bath here?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I don't have one, but the landlady does. She let me use it when I was younger."

Itachi nodded, his usual composure almost fully returned. "Can you ask her if it's available?"

Naruto gave him a thumbs up and disappeared down the hall. Itachi walked upstairs into the bedroom, Kisame on his heels with Planty and Mr. Roary.

He set Sasuke's feet on the floor and reached down, starting to untie the purple rope.

"No!" Sasuke grabbed his hands, stopping him. "I like my dress!"

Itachi looked up at him. "Sasuke, it's a mess now. Besides, boys should wear pants."

Sasuke stuck his bottom lip out, and then looked down at Itachi's lap. Then he turned and looked at Kisame.

"You… you _do _all wear pants!" he exclaimed. "I want pants! I want pants!"

Itachi smiled lightly. "I'll get you pants. But first we have to give you a bath, okay?" Itachi untied the cord and stripped off the dress, trying not to notice the horrible irony. Itachi wasn't allowed to be in the same area as him when he peed, but he could strip him naked no problem.

_It's okay… it's okay… I used my foot—nope. Nope, it's okay now._

Itachi walked over to the corner of the room and grabbed his Akatsuki cloak, throwing it over Sasuke's shoulders and sticking his arms through. He buttoned it all the way down and then stood up, dusting off his hands.

"How's your shoulder?"

Sasuke looked at it. "It hurt last night… it's okay now... mostly…"

Itachi nodded and turned to Kisame, who had disposed of the old clothing. "I guess we'll just wait for Naruto, then."

Kisame shrugged. "I guess."

Sasuke nodded and shrugged. "I guess."

Itachi smiled, reaching out and tousling his hair. Sasuke looked at him and smiled, but Itachi could see though him with or without sharingan.

_You left me. _

That's what Sasuke was thinking.

_You left me again._

Itachi turned away from the duo, occupying himself with the scene outside Naruto's window.

_I'm so sorry, Sasuke… for everything…_

* * *

Sasuke bit his lip, sniffling softly as Itachi continued to clean him. He blinked away tears, leaning into the rag.

"Spread your legs, Sasuke. I don't want you getting a rash."

Sasuke did as he was told. "Yes, Tachi."

Sasuke frowned, wondering when he started referring to the illusion as 'Itachi' and 'Tachi'.

_He's just pretend…_

"Are you alright?"

Sasuke's head snapped up, and he sniffed. "Huh?"

Itachi cleaned his stomach, working hard at a sticky spot where Sasuke had hidden some candy under his dress. "You were very upset earlier. I… Are you okay?"

Sasuke dragged his arm over his eyes. "I… I think so…"

Itachi said nothing for several moments. "I… good."

Sasuke slouched, sniffling again. "You… you're not the real Itachi, are you?"

The potential hallucination stiffened.

"Itachi… he wouldn't do this… he doesn't love me…" Sasuke shook, tears falling from his eyes. "He would leave and never come back. He… He… I hate him!" Sasuke punched the water, ignoring the suds that sprayed up around him. He slowly looked to the man in the room with him. "But I like you… so you can't be Itachi." He smiled.

Itachi looked down. "Yes… you're right… I'm not Itachi."

"Oh, good! Could I…" Sasuke blushed, hanging his head. "Could I…" Sasuke fiddled with his fingers. "Could I still call you… Itachi? I want to pretend Itachi is really like you."

Itachi smiled. "I wouldn't mind that at all."

Sasuke leaned over and gave Itachi a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Itachi."

Itachi glanced around and then extended his hand, tousling his hair. "I love you, too."

And for a moment, everything was perfect. It was pretend, but it was perfect.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Augh! Sorry about the wait, guys! I have been having such a hard time with all of my muses... also, I've gotten into roleplaying on tumblr, which has been sucking up a lot of my time. But no more!**

**Without further ado, Chapter 10! Mentions will be in the next chapter!**

* * *

"Wahhhh! Itachi!"

Itachi gripped Sasuke's shirt a little tighter and continued down the hall, storming up to the door of the Hokage's office and throwing it open.

"Leader person help me!" Sasuke screamed.

Tsuande looked up from her paperwork, blinking in confusion, and Itachi gave Sasuke's collar a little jerk. "We need a new location. We can't stay in town while he's crazy like this."

"I am not crazy! He was being mean to me!"

"Sasuke, you bit him!" was the elder Uchiha's quick retort.

"Well, he smelled like a dog!"

Itachi blew his bangs out of his eyes. "We need a new place to stay. Someplace where Sasuke can train and try to regain his memories without hurting people and destroying things."

"It was just one house…"

"It was the birthing wing of the hospital!"

"Nobody got hurt!"

Itachi sighed. "No more Chidori until we figure out what happened…"

Tsunade raised her eyebrows. "He used Chidori?"

Itachi sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "He was working on trying to walk up a tree, and failing, when he saw a cat nibbling on Planty. He ran after it and used Chidori, but the cat dodged him, and he hit the hospital. He hasn't been able to perform it again since."

"I see… and what of the Curse Seal?"

"It hasn't acted up much lately, though he says it never stops aching. I would imagine it's a dull ache that changes in intensity." Itachi paused. "I don't understand why it's connected to his memories. Orochimaru wanted Sasuke's body. To remove Sasuke's memories and cause him to lose his mind would be counter-productive. In fact, I have a feeling that the further into his memories we get, the worse the pain will become, meaning Sasuke will become deterred. It makes absolutely no sense."

Tsunade nodded slowly, resting her elbows on her desk. "I see… Well, what do you think is best?"

Itachi raised an elegant eyebrow. "You're trusting the Akatsuki with this?" he questioned.

"He's your little brother. You would know best."

Itachi looked down at the boy dangling a couple inches off of the ground, his shirt still fisted in Itachi's hand. "Yes… don't remind me."

"Rawr!"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "We're going to relocate to the Uchiha compound. Sasuke is semi-familiar with it, we'll have plenty of space, and we'll be close to many of his childhood memories."

The Hokage nodded sharply. "I approve of the change of locations, though you will still be watched at all hours by ANBU. I assume Naruto and Kisame will be going with you?"

Itachi nodded and turned to leave, hoisting the boy over his shoulder. "Yes." With that, he stepped out the door, stopping when he heard the Godaime's vocie.

"By the way… it was pretty low of you to leave him alone in the bathroom."

Itachi shot her a dark look. "I used… my foot." Having rested his case, he left her office and started down the hall, Sasuke kicking and screaming over his shoulder.

"I like Naruto's house! I want to stay with him! Don't make me leave! I wanna stay!"

"Sasuke."

The younger Uchiha continued to cry, but he stopped speaking and struggling, hugging Itachi's waist from his upside-down position over his shoulder. Itachi fought off a sigh, continuing down the hall to the exit and then down the steps to the street.

"So, what did Granny say?" Naruto asked, hanging upside down from a streetlight.

Itachi glanced up at him. "We have permission to move. As soon as we pack up everything we need, we'll be relocating to the Uchiha Compound."

Kisame sighed. "At least we're doing something else besides… Anyways, how long has Sasuke been climbing trees with no results?"

Sasuke pouted. "H-hey! There was that one time—"

"No, Kisame's right. We need a new method because this one isn't working."

Sasuke said nothing, and Itachi motioned down the street to Naruto's apartment. "Let's get on with it. I want to be settled in by nightfall."

Naruto waved his arms. "Ooh! Ooh! Can we get ramen after we move?"

Itachi calculated their estimated finish time and nodded. "We'll have time if we hurry."

"Yes!" Naruto jumped down and started running for the apartment.

Kisame also sped up, and Itachi raised an eyebrow at him. Kisame glared.

"I've developed a liking for ramen, alright?"

Itachi rolled his eyes and continued down the path. Hopefully this change of scenery would help Sasuke improve, and then they could return to the Akatsuki Base, and everything would go back to normal.

Hopefully.

* * *

"Hey! We were here before!" Sasuke ran down the streets of the Uchiha Compound, giggling madly. "So, why did we move again?"

"You bit someone," Itachi said dryly.

Kisame chuckled. "I thought it was funny."

Naruto dropped his bag to the ground, stretching. "So, we have the whole place to ourselves? Sweet."

"Can we stay there, Itachi?" Sasuke pointed to a lone house near the back, grinning.

Itachi shook his head, walking down the street a little ways to a small house not far from the one Sasuke wanted.

"This is where we'll be staying."

Sasuke pouted. "But—"

"This one." Itachi opened the door and motioned for everyone to enter.

Kisame, Naruto, and Sasuke all filed into the house, looking around.

"Itachi-san, wouldn't it be better to go—"

"No." Itachi shut the door to the house and pointed out the rooms. "This is the kitchen, that's the living room, and down the hall are three bedrooms. Since I'm researching Sasuke's symptoms and the Curse Seal, I'll room with him. Kisame, you'll room next to Naruto because you've been the one keeping an eye on him. Everybody got it?"

Naruto gave a thumbs up. "Alright!"

Kisame nodded. "Yup."

"Rawr!"

Itachi smiled lightly. It was kind of like leading a three-man cell again. Except it was the most unreliable combination in history. His crazy brother, his comrade, and his target. What a headache.

Kisame and Naruto quickly started looking around the house, fighting over who would get which room, and talking about the ramen they were going to have that night. Somehow, while Itachi had been distracted, Kisame had… found himself comfortable around Naruto? It was confusing, but he was certain there was a reason behind it. He would have to ask the shark nin at some point…

Itachi turned to his left and saw Sasuke inspecting the fridge hungrily.

"Sasuke."

The raven looked up at him, holding Planty and Mr. Roary to his chest. "Yes?"

"I have something to show you." He beckoned Sasuke with his finger.

"For me?"

Itachi nodded, walking out the door and around the back of the house. Sasuke followed him, smiling widely and still hugging his precious babies to his chest.

"Up here, Sasuke." Itachi started up the hill behind the house, a light smile tugging at his lips as he waited for the boy's reaction.

Sasuke saw it right away, his eyes sparkling with childlike wonder. He screamed, running up the hill. "Swing! Swing!"

Itachi shoved his hands into his pockets, smiling a little more. "Do you recognize anything?"

"Yes! This is my swing!"

Itachi nodded. "That's right. Any memories?"

"I…" Sasuke looked at the swing for a long time. "…no."

Itachi gave another nod. "That's okay. Just keep thinking."

Sasuke sat down on the swing, his friends forgotten in the grass. "Itachi! Swing with me."

Itachi stood still for several seconds, before sauntering silently over to the swing set and sitting down beside his sibling, Sasuke. "Sasuke, what can you tell me about Orochimaru?"

Sasuke pouted, whining. "I don't wanna talk about it…"

Itachi gave him a dark look. "Don't whine."

"But—"

"You know better." He paused for a moment and then continued. "I need to know as much as possible about Orochimaru. I don't want to be the bad guy, but if you aren't willing to talk, I'll have to be."

Sasuke gulped, stuttering a little. "But you won't—you won't hurt me, right?"

"If I have to I will."

Sasuke looked down, swinging slightly. "I… Well, what do you want to know?"

"What did you do while you were there?" Itachi questioned, also swinging.

"I trained."

"And…?"

Sasuke pondered that for a moment. "Nope, that's it."

Itachi's lips twitched into a frown. "You never did anything else?"

"No! I had to get stronger to—" He stopped. "Well, to beat you. I mean, Itachi."

"And… what of that now?" Itachi asked, watching him closely.

Sasuke gripped the ropes on either side of him, staring down at the ground. "I don't… I don't know… Everything is so confusing right now…" He blinked a few times, swallowing thickly. "I can't tell if you're the real Itachi or not… and I can't remember why I left this place… I'm…"

He looked right at Itachi, his voice dropping an octave. "I'm happy and it scares me."

Itachi's eyes widened.

"I'm so happy right now, and I know it won't last. I don't want to remember, but I know that if I don't, I'll eventually lose my mind completely and they'll euthanize me." He sighed, leaning back on the swing. "I've always had to figure things out for myself, to be the adult in my own life, and these past couple weeks… It's been so nice. To not have to do anything. To not be responsible." He laughed bitterly. "It's like—" His voice cracked, returning to the high pitch he had before, and he threw his head back, laughing insanely. "I just thought of something really funny!" Sasuke looked at Itachi. "Now, what were we talking about?"

Itachi was quiet for a moment. "Orochimaru. You were talking about your training under Orochimaru."

Sasuke nodded. "Right, right. Um, so… yeah, that was pretty much all I did. He did do some experiments on me…"

Itachi nodded. "What kind of experiments?"

"I can't… really remember…" His brow scrunched up, and he tapped his chin. "I remember lots of needles and tubes… It hurt a lot… I don't think I cared, though. I'm not sure why."

Itachi listened silently, processing all of the information he was receiving. "Did he ever run tests on your Curse Seal?"

Sasuke nodded vigorously. "Oh, yeah! He only did it once or twice, but those were the worst. I can't really remember what he did, though… it made me really sick."

Itachi nodded slowly. "I see…"

Sasuke suddenly screeched to a halt, seeing a young boy sprawled out in the dirt in front of him. He stared at him for several seconds, his shoulder beginning to ache.

_"Nii-san! That wasn't fair!" _the boy's voice echoed.

Sasuke slowly looked at Itachi, who was staring at him with a hint of worry in his eyes. Was this… a memory? He looked back forward, but the boy was gone.

_So… nii-san pushed me off the swing?_

Sasuke grinned, stopping once more.

"Sasuke, are you alright?"

He ignored the burn in his shoulder and stood up, walking around the back of the swing set.

"Sasuke…?"

Sasuke ran at Itachi, shoving him hard from behind and sending him face first into the mud. He pointed at him with one hand, the other gripping his stomach as he laughed.

"Haha! Payback!"

Itachi blinked a few times, and then he smiled. His smile grew, and he let out a stifled laugh, trying hard to hold it in. "Yes, you… you got me… payback…" Itachi let out a little laugh, getting to his feet and dusting himself off.

Naruto's voice suddenly came from the house below. "Hey! We wanna go get ramen! The sun's almost down!"

Sasuke and Itachi both looked back to the house where Kisame and Naruto were waiting to go eat.

"We're coming!" Sasuke replied, running down the hill.

Itachi followed him, a smile still on his face. He glanced over his shoulder at the swing set.

Sasuke waved his arms frantically. "Itachi! Come on!"

Itachi turned and walked down the remainder of the hill and out onto the streets. "Alright, let's go."

Sasuke grabbed onto Itachi's arm and walked beside him, resting his head on the man's shoulder. The memory he had seen wasn't very big, so it wasn't causing him too much pain, but it still hurt, and it had tired him out. Plus, Itachi didn't seem to mind too much, so why not?

Sasuke wasn't sure when Itachi stopped being a hallucination, but he didn't really care. He was happy. He was happier than he had ever been in his life, and he wanted things to stay that way.

* * *

Itachi shot up in bed, grabbing his stomach and stumbling to his feet. Gritting his teeth, he got to the bathroom as quick as he could, kneeling before the toilet. He took a deep breath, pain searing through his stomach and chest. He should have known his body wouldn't hold out this long.

He dropped his head, retching violently into the porcelain throne. He brushed his bangs back out of his face, remembering a time when his mother had done that for him, rubbing his back and keeping him calm through the entire ordeal. Such sweet memories…

Once his stomach was finished, he sat back, wiping his mouth on a piece of toilet paper and taking several deep breaths. He stood up slowly, flushing the toilet and grabbing a small cup. Filling it with water, he used it as a sort of mouthwash to get the disgusting taste out of his mouth, and then he slowly entered back into the bedroom.

He sat down on the bed, turning to see if his sudden fit had woken Sasuke. It looked like the younger Uchiha was still asleep. Actually… it looked a little flat.

"Sasuke?" he whispered, pulling the bed sheets back.

Sasuke was gone.


End file.
